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Bailout Satire

Add your own toxic holdings to the big shitpile here.

I almost missed this email because it was diverted to my spam folder. But apparently Paulson is sending this around:

Dear American:

Chris Hayes

September 22, 2008

Add your own toxic holdings to the big shitpile here.

I almost missed this email because it was diverted to my spam folder. But apparently Paulson is sending this around:

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationshipwith a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My countryhas had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, itwould be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be myreplacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, youmay know him as the leader of the American banking deregulationmovement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We needthe funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer thesefunds in the names of our close friends because we are constantlyunder surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look fora reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so thefunds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fundaccount numbers and those of your children and grandchildren towallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commissionfor this transaction. After I receive that information, I willrespond with detailed information about safeguards that will be usedto protect the funds.

Yours FaithfullyMinister of Treasury Paulson

(UPDATE: I didn’t write this. It was sent to me by a friend and is making the rounds)

Chris HayesTwitterChris Hayes is the Editor-at-Large of The Nation and host of “All In with Chris Hayes” on MSNBC.


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