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Calling In the Humanizer Man

Calvin Trillin

September 5, 2012

Analysts say that Romney campaign strategists face the challenge of humanizing their candidate.     —News reports   They’d like it if this man the folks are seeing Resembled more an actual human being. For that he’d need some warmth and shmaltz and soul; Then he’d appear less plastic and more whole. So in their dreams of triumph they aspire To show that their guy bleeds and may perspire, This can be done at once, without delay: The Humanizer Man is on his way.   Yes, any candidate with boardlike stiffness Can be adjusted with surprising swiftness. The Humanizer Man’s done this before. Though he fell short of loosening Al Gore, He’s had a host of triumphs in his day. So if Mitt’s men believe, to their dismay, Their man’s as human as a Charolais. No need to cry “¡Caramba!” or “Oy vey!” For everything is going to be OK. To give him hope you only have to say, “The Humanizer Man is on his way.”

Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”


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