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A Crisis of Faith Brought On by Martha Stewart

Agnostic's what he was, had always been. He'd never prayed a prayer, confessed a sin. He's thinking, though, if Martha goes to jail, On Sundays henceforth he will never fail To be in church. In fact, forevermore, He'll be in synagogue the day before. It's not as if this man's the sort of pill Who wishes fellow human beings ill. But he's convinced: If Martha takes the fall, There is a God in heaven after all.

Calvin Trillin

June 27, 2002

Agnostic’s what he was, had always been. He’d never prayed a prayer, confessed a sin. He’s thinking, though, if Martha goes to jail, On Sundays henceforth he will never fail To be in church. In fact, forevermore, He’ll be in synagogue the day before. It’s not as if this man’s the sort of pill Who wishes fellow human beings ill. But he’s convinced: If Martha takes the fall, There is a God in heaven after all.

Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”


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