I grew drunk on the dragonflies’ ultra Three times I asked our misogynistic uncle, the family patriarch, for money for books for the girls to which he then scoffed drunkenly throwing coins onto our heads onto the floor chuckling amused at his own godlike generosity I learned to read via occupational hazard manuals I woke up from a coma believing that I was a witch with polio I needed you so badly I thought I would die I told mama about cousin wincing while he peed outside All of my curiosities ceased breaking down to the one sum the one test whether I could keep calm while I was drummed I was ripped off again and again and again I was featured in revenge porn after revenge porn after revenge porn I was deciding whether to reconcile with his enabler because in that moment I was what my friend called completely unconscious and incapable of consent As I sat along the Mississippi River in another life which is not the same life no it is not the same life as the one I have come to grow love inside like a stone birth Everybody talked and talked and talked about how good a rapist he was right, how good a rapist a classic glass Coca Cola bottle could be was, right Meanwhile hadn’t heard one word about what saved her acutely patented life what cast out the canker out from within her Meanwhile not one word about the dark sky not one word more than the mean or the average or the outlier of it I admit it’s actually something very hard to penetrate It’s actually something which will engulf us all incapacitate it’s not even the Christian right or the fossil fuels of America it’s actually It’s actually probably the only thing that the Christian right or the fossil fuels of America have ever been would ever truly be or have been afraid of I’ve called the minute men, they are on their way