An "alternate set of procedures" Is what we’re applying right now. So please don’t confuse this with torture, That’s something I’d never allow.
I know when you feel you are drowning, You’re thinking, "They’re torturing me!" But torture is not what we call it, So torture it simply can’t be.
You’re lucky Americans got you, If torture’s the thing that you dread. An alternate set of procedures Is what we’re applying instead.
Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”