At confirmation hearings he Described the justice he would be: Regardless of which law he likes, He’s only calling balls and strikes. His own beliefs would never trump Decisions from this honest ump. Statistics that have just come in Now show what kind of ump he’s been. Extrapolating from these cases, Big-business pitchers all are aces. The unions CEOs all hate Can never seem to find the plate. Environmentalists? It’s droll The way control freaks lack control. Consumers, it is now well-known, Throw pitches just outside the zone. Remember, if his record galls, He’s only calling strikes and balls.