Little Pick Eye turned William over like the boots his mama left in the hall. Stupid pickle gulls pulled the hair out of his head. Call him kid flower and I guess over time stiffened and plucked is how you might describe him. The main thing to remember is that it’s not your fault. You didn’t introduce him to the cigar. You didn’t give him a hottie tottie when he got froze outa school and you aint gonna straighten him out with a crowbar now. Dogs dancing with their big old teeth, bars a shakin, neighbors scramin neighbors. You pay good money to live somewhere and then wammo, God makes it snow all over your car. Odds are bad you called for advice but advice is what you’re gonna get:     Work to be the bastard    Live to be the bastard    And then be the bastard  That, or they’ll take your money right out of the bank in front of your eyes and tell ya about it. Now Git.   Now Git! Now Git!   You didn’t make it, we just gave it to you for something you did.