Toggle Menu

A New Gilbert and Sullivan Song About George W. Bush as a Take-Charge Guy

Where normal human beings see a storm-devastated community, George W. Bush sees only a photo opportunity.

Calvin Trillin

September 29, 2005

I keep my slicker by my bed, and, sure, my bullmike’s handy too. With these, it looks as if I’ve got the slightest notion what to do. On Air Force One my staff and I will fly to every storm we’re fighting. My staff’s prepared. They’ve studied film. They’ve got technique. They know backlighting. You’ll soon forget the FEMA hacks appointed, one and all, by me. A leader is a man who finds a photo opportunity.

CHORUS No matter what, there’ll always be a photo opportunity. And otherwise, I’m always free for loafing with impunity. Because, you see, we all agree: With Karl there to fine tune it, he Can find a way to picture me at one with the community. No matter what, there’ll always be a photo opportunity.

So clueless had I seemed before–for days when that Katrina hit– I have to show some leadership: The slicker is a perfect fit. No way that I’d be in the way, the way the coverage implied. To get the shot, we’ve never pushed one rescue worker to the side. So, clueless still, you say, but watch: That’s not how folks will picture me, For now each storm will be for me a photo opportunity.

CHORUS No matter what, there’ll always be a photo opportunity. And otherwise, I’m always free for loafing with impunity. Because, you see, we all agree: With Karl there to fine tune it, he Can find a way to picture me at one with the community. No matter what, there’ll always be a photo opportunity.

Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”


Latest from the nation