(John McCain adapts Samuel Coleridge’s epic)

You’d know at once that I am not Some liberal elitist. I’m just a beer and burger guy Who finds a cook-out neatest.

Unlike Barack, I wouldn’t eat Arugula instead. So what if I’m a little long On spots to lay my head?

Houses, houses everywhere, Not one of them a shack– So many it’s not strange I have Some trouble keeping track.

Houses, houses everywhere– Abodes in the amount No short-term memory’s involved In failing to keep count.

To folks who fear they’ll lose a home As mortgage markets swerve, I have some practical advice: Keep six more in reserve.