(A Gilbert and Sullivan Solo for George W. Bush)

Though folks in Texas are diverse, I knew I could unite them all. Endorsements came from blacks and girls; I’d happily recite them all. I’ve sympathy for everyone (I bleed a lot for Texaco). I really can’t be prejudiced: My sister-in-law’s from Mexico. Though I was real compassionate–at least that is the tale we spun– I am, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican.

Chorus: He is, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican.

I needed Pat to smear McCain as baby-killer and profane, Or smite him with a hurricane, so I could win this one campaign. And Falwell, too, was fine, I felt. So I, to smash my rival, dealt With guys who really raise a welt with cheap shots from the Bible Belt. I am a onetime lap dog’s son, so it may not strike anyone As odd that I’m content to run as one who’s to the left of none–a Robertson Republican.

Chorus: He is a onetime lap dog’s son, so it may not strike anyone As odd that he’s content to run as one who’s to the left of none–a Robertson Republican.