From that slight slump I’d make the diagnosis Of just a tiny touch of scoliosis, Which likely could be kept in check unless He tried to take a job with too much stress. And judging from his pudginess of chops, he Is likely to be suffering from dropsy. From bagginess of trouser legs we see He’s got himself a case of housemaid’s knee. He could have gout, and judging from that pout, There’s serious PMS we can’t rule out. In time, this patient could be really fine, If he just rests until at least ’09.
Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”