(An Upper East Side Sea Chanty
Sung to the tune of ‘Blow the Man Down’)

Sanford I. Weill, chairman of Citigroup, admitted helping the twin children of a former stock analyst, Jack B. Grubman, get into the preschool at the 92nd Street Y in 2000. Citigroup also made a $1 million grant to the Y that year.
   –The New York Times

These nursery schools have a difficult chore.
How would someone begin
To choose among children who aren’t even 4?
Give me some dough to shmeer the kids in.

Some little kids draw and some little kids sing.
Some can charm with a grin.
And some bring the money to build on a wing.
Give me some dough to shmeer the kids in.

They may not be 4, but some kids can bring grants.
These kids somehow will win.
Forget that they whine and may still poop their pants.
Give me some dough to shmeer the kids in.