Voter Information
Bruce McCall
§ A smiley face is acceptable instead of a check mark as the indicator of your voting choice. If you wish to add color, stay within the circle. Stick-on smiley faces are available from the registrar.
§ You may bring no more than one crystal into the voting booth.
§ Do not attempt to relocate the ballot box, table or voting booth. Feng-shui has already been performed.
Candidate Information
§ A loud beep will sound if a new candidate enters the race while you are in the act of voting. Exit the booth, watch the DVD, then return to cast your vote.
§ Certain candidates are marked with a “?” on the ballot. This signifies that their candidacies are under legal challenge and may be disqualified before this election is completed. Challenged candidacies: Manson, DreamWorks, Nixon.
Ballot Information
If this is your first voting experience in the State of California, be advised that:
§ California uses a photo ballot. Choose the candidate whose looks you like most and put a check mark (or smiley face) next to his/her photo. Warning: If you tear out the photo from the ballot for personal use, you must pay a $5 fee.
§ If you are using a drive-thru voting booth, throw your ballot in the bin and DO NOT STOP.
§ If you are in Vegas on polling day, use one of the Quik-Vote boxes in the casino of your favorite hotel.
Write-Ins
§ If there is in your opinion a potential governor who is NOT on the official list of candidates, you may write in his/her name as your voting choice UNLESS he/she is already governor of another state or a cartoon character.
WARREN BEATTY AND BARBRA STREISAND JOKES STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
Note:
If the polls have closed by the time you finish reading this, there will be another election soon. Hold your vote for that election. In case you might forget, write your candidate’s name on your wrist in indelible ink.
Bruce McCallBruce McCall is a writer and painter whose latest book, All Meat Looks Like South America, will be published by Crown in the fall.