PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE 9/11 COMMISSION AND THE WHITE HOUSE CONCERNING THE COMMISSION’S BLISTERING REPORT CARD ON HOW WELL ITS RECOMMENDATIONS HAVE BEEN FOLLOWED

Commission: So firemen can talk to cops, You must provide a frequency. The fact that this has not been done Is government delinquency.

White House: Iraq is coming right along. We’re confident we’ll win this war. The way to honor lads we’ve lost Is stick it out (and lose some more).

Commission: Disaster funds are handed out By pork, not risk, and, by the way, The loose nukes that so worried us Are getting looser every day.

White House: Our troops are making progress now, And trained Iraqis have increased. We win the battles that we fight. We’ve taken some towns twice at least.

Commission: Still, air freight cargo goes unchecked, And information goes unshared. We told you then, we tell you now: The USA is unprepared!

White House: Saddam–that evil, awful man— Is captured, living in a cell. Democracy will spread from there. The Middle East will soon be swell.

Commission: We have to say, upon reflection, There’s something wrong with this connection.