(A preventive-war anthem sung to the tune of “Trees,” by Joyce Kilmer, with piano accompaniment)

We think that God has never made A country we should not invade. Some evil tyrants go unchecked, And bombing them gets us respect. The more small countries we destroy The more respect we can enjoy.

La-da-dee-dee, bomb-bomb. La-da-dee-dee, bomb-bomb.

And rulers who may seem OK? It’s smart to bomb them anyway, So others fear us like The Hun. That Vietnam disease is done. Our country had it wrong before: There’s nothing better than a war.