Ninety days in the dark on your back in chains and you don’t know where you’re going. I kept picturing the grin of the salesman as the sailors loaded us onto the ship his teeth lit up my nightmare, the lizard on his shoulder lept to mine and when the delirium hit I would laugh with him and infect his evil with my blasphemy: joy. Incessant weeping laughter would break across the hold and this petrified the devil for long enough to crack the whip. Quiet sorrow infuriates the criminal who in that silence loses track of where he ends and I begin. I was watching his suicide try to occupy my body, fail, and hobble like a cloaked beggar toward my unattainable soul. When we reached land they sold my son’s organs right in front of me. Cut him open and fed him to some sickly president who hates the sun. Counted his teeth, bit into me with them, some funny love, I laughed and wept less and then more, a living spell cast on the unconscious. You’ve got to be serious dumb to eat someone you’ve tortured you’ve got to want to be me to try this hard you must be starving and I taste like The Miracles singing “Who’s Lovin’ You”
and I wonder