Calvin Trillin

Verse Columnist

Calvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”

Trump Oval Office Hands Raised

The Dawn of an Affair With Stormy Daniels The Dawn of an Affair With Stormy Daniels

Though rusty at consensual sex, He thought it might be worth a try If he could think of how to start— Which part of her to grab her by.

Feb 1, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Rhino Czech Zoo

Trump Aces Animal-ID Question on Cognitive Test Trump Aces Animal-ID Question on Cognitive Test

A childish narcissist and dumb? The White House says: Preposterous! The test proves that he’d never call A camel a rhinoceros.

Jan 25, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Donald Trump Holding a Baseball Bat

Trump as Genius Trump as Genius

Another genius has been named. It’s Donald Trump (he’s self-proclaimed)— So smart he can explain, we hope, Why all his aides call him a dope.

Jan 11, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Donald Trump speaking at the final session of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio.

Detour Detour

The Trump administration has prohibited the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from using seven words or phrases, such as “fetus” and “science-based,” in agency budget docu…

Dec 28, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump sexual misconduct

Boasting Limitations Boasting Limitations

There’s something Trump won’t brag about? Well, yes, as other gropers fall, We’ve never heard him boast he has The most accusers of them all.

Dec 14, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump and Kushner

Personnel Changes Personnel Changes

John Kelly may be easing Jared Kushner out of the White House.——News reports We only hope that Kelly waits at least ’Til Jared straightens out the Middle East. If Kelly does from…

Nov 30, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump Russia G20

In Meeting With Trump, Putin Denies Meddling In Meeting With Trump, Putin Denies Meddling

Denied it man to man, so Trump Said Putin’s in the clear. Ex-agents of the KGB Are notably sincere.

Nov 16, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump debate Nevada

Memories of a Conversation Between Donald Trump and a Gold Star Widow Memories of a Conversation Between Donald Trump and a Gold Star Widow

Donald Trump says he has “one of the greatest memories of all time.” —News reports In testimony regarding the suit against Trump University, Donald Trump says “I don’t remember” 35…

Nov 2, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

John Kelly

The General Speaks The General Speaks

“Video Disproves Story Kelly Told About Lawmaker” —The New York Times At first, he spoke with feeling and made sense. Then, suddenly, toward lies and slurs he lurched. He gave us a…

Oct 26, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Weinstein Adams Rey

Hollywood People on Harvey Weinstein Hollywood People on Harvey Weinstein

They’re mad as hell at what he did, So, loudly, they decry it. But what they don’t say much about Is thirty years of quiet.

Oct 19, 2017 / Column / Calvin Trillin

x