What Happened to Janay Palmer in the Elevator What Happened to Janay Palmer in the Elevator
Absent video, how could Goodell Be expected for certain to tell? So he figured that, not feeling well From the flu, say, this mademoiselle Might have suffered a brief fainting spell, From which slowly but surely she fell. And then her husband dragged her out of the elevator, dumped her on the floor, and walked away.
Sep 17, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The 2001 Bush-Putin Summit The 2001 Bush-Putin Summit
At last, they got up from their talks at the table. Bush called Putin trustworthy, having been able To sense Putin’s soul. So, on this grand occasion, Could one thing he sensed be a taste for invasion?
Sep 10, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
U.S. May Find Itself Allied With Assad and Iranian Ayatollahs U.S. May Find Itself Allied With Assad and Iranian Ayatollahs
Strange bedfellows, sure, we have had them before When needed to thwart growing danger. But now, with the Middle East falling apart, The bedfellows keep getting stranger.
Sep 3, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Deep Pockets Deep Pockets
For parts of Iraq where our soldiers have died, The ISIS jihadists are serious contenders. So goes the resistance that Rumsfeld described As nothing but pockets of hopeless dead-enders.
Aug 27, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Radical Jihadists Gain Ground in Iraq Radical Jihadists Gain Ground in Iraq
All the neocons said we must conquer Iraq; It could harbor a terrorist crew. So invade it we did, and because of that fact, What they made up has really come true.
Aug 13, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The ‘New York Times’ Editorial Board Calls for the Legalization of Marijuana The ‘New York Times’ Editorial Board Calls for the Legalization of Marijuana
The vision of these editors We always had was wrong. They’re not some guys with pipes and tweeds. They’re more like Cheech and Chong.
Jul 30, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Religious Misunderstanding Religious Misunderstanding
Radical Buddhists rampage against Muslims in Myanmar. —News reports. Because we thought Buddhists were such peaceful guys, The riots in Burma were quite a surprise. A bloodthirsty Buddhist! That has us perplexed. We find ourselves wondering what could come next: Will violence flow from some Quaker disquiet? Should we be expecting a Mennonite riot? Are we going to see, bounding over the heath, An Amish jihadist who’s armed to the teeth?
Jul 16, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
William Kristol’s Credentials as an Iraq Expert William Kristol’s Credentials as an Iraq Expert
Bill Kristol predicted a war of two months. It’s lasted, we know, somewhat longer. So, even including his chicken-hawk pals, Has anyone ever been wronger?
Jul 2, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Easy Fix Easy Fix
“Texas GOP supports ‘reparative therapy.’” —CNN Gay marriage ? They’ll stop it, at least in one state. But how? It’s quite simple: turn everyone straight.
Jun 18, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The VA Scandal The VA Scandal
The verdict’s in on E. Shinseki. Because the VA’s now a wreck, he Must be replaced at last. So let’s Let someone else neglect the vets.
Jun 4, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin