Calvin Trillin

Verse Columnist

Calvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”

Immortality Immortality

Online, no matter what I say My words will never go away. In cyberspace they’re there to stay. For that I thank the NSA.

Jun 19, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Adieu, Michele Bachmann Adieu, Michele Bachmann

Gigantic tears into our eyes now well As we prepare to say farewell, Michele. We pliers of the small-joke trade are grieving. We so regret to hear that you are leaving. Oh, sure, we often managed to make merry With gaffes by Sarah Palin or by Perry. And Cain was grand; with Trump we had a ball. But you, Michele, were wackiest of all.

Jun 5, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Another Week in the White House Another Week in the White House

The IRS has made a mess That brings the White House many stresses. They need distractions, which they’ve got— Alas, though, those are other messes.

May 22, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Week in the White House A Week in the White House

Benghazi and the IRS Already had the White House vexed. Plus Justice snooped on AP’s phones. A plague of locusts may be next.

May 15, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Question A Question

For years we’ve been willing to conquer a place That’s nurtured, abetted or aided The radical terrorist threatening us. Should Cambridge, then, now be invaded?

May 8, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Barbara Bush on White House Dynasties Barbara Bush on White House Dynasties

We’ve had enough Bushes, the matriarch said. We certainly don’t need another. And Jeb, who was meant to have George’s at-bat, Smiles weakly once more at his mother.

May 1, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Criticism of Obama’s Failure to Get a Background Check Bill Passed in the Senate Criticism of Obama’s Failure to Get a Background Check Bill Passed in the Senate

Disdain is what he has for brawls; The nitty-gritty’s what he shuns. Kid gloves are what he’s fighting with Against some people armed with guns.

Apr 24, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Gauging the Intentions of Kim Jong-un Gauging the Intentions of Kim Jong-un

The North Korean kid says that he's sure he Can hit us Yanks with missiles in a hurry. Is this for real? Should we begin to worry? Is this guy's favor something we need curry To keep the bombs from coming in a flurry?  If Rodman flees, we'll know it's time to scurry.

Apr 17, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Moving On Moving On

Now Syria's descending into hell And Kim Jong-un again is acting out. Then there's Iran. It's hard now to recall Just what that thing in Cyprus was about.

Apr 10, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

ADHD Diagnoses Rise Sharply ADHD Diagnoses Rise Sharply

So hyperactivity’s now on the rise, Though overprescribing is also suspected. Could this be a hyperactivity plague? At least we know Congress has not been affected.

Apr 3, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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