Bush, After Saying He’ll Cede Hollywood to the Democrats Because He Has the Regular People Behind Him, Sings a Song to That Effect, to the Tune of That Old Bush, After Saying He’ll Cede Hollywood to the Democrats Because He Has the Regular People Behind Him, Sings a Song to That Effect, to the Tune of That Old
Regular people, just plain working folks Always stood out in my eyes. I scorn all those people who drink wine instead Of eating Frito pies.
Aug 12, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A White House Response To the 9/11 Commission’s Finding That Iran Had More Contact With the Hijackers Than Iraq Did A White House Response To the 9/11 Commission’s Finding That Iran Had More Contact With the Hijackers Than Iraq Did
The little error that we may have made In picking out a country to invade Was understandable. The names, of course, Are close, and when you make a show of force
Jul 29, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
For the Day Ralph Nader Shuffles Off This Mortal Coil For the Day Ralph Nader Shuffles Off This Mortal Coil
In canned obits that papers keep, The second graf relates The fact that Nader gave us Bush, Through votes in several states.
Jul 15, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Prime-Time Schedule for the Republican National Convention On the Prime-Time Schedule for the Republican National Convention
The wacko right has mostly just disdain For Schwarzenegger, Rudy and McCain. But they'll be featured at the prime-time mike As just the sort of folks swing voters like.
Jul 1, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Concerning Nanny Dick Cheney’s Continued Statements About Iraq’s Role in 9/11 Concerning Nanny Dick Cheney’s Continued Statements About Iraq’s Role in 9/11
The commission's report starts anew Nanny's fairy tales, worthy of Pooh. For the contrary facts that accrue Can do nothing to change Cheney's view.
Jun 24, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Bush Administration Priorities on National Secrets Bush Administration Priorities on National Secrets
When piqued at Ambassador Wilson The Bushmen saw no reason why They shouldn't just leak to all quarters The name of a CIA spy.
Jun 17, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Concerning Speculation On the Political Impact of President Ronald Reagan’s Death Concerning Speculation On the Political Impact of President Ronald Reagan’s Death
Though theories of conspiracy crop up, In fairness, one of them should be dissolved. He died not in October but in June; It should be clear that Rove was not involved.
Jun 10, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The United States Describes the Wonders of Sovereignty to the Iraqi People The United States Describes the Wonders of Sovereignty to the Iraqi People
You'll have a government real soon. You'll see democracy writ large. We promised sovereignty. It's yours. And worry not: We're still in charge.
Jun 3, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Rupture of Relations Between Ahmad Chalabi and the United States of America On the Rupture of Relations Between Ahmad Chalabi and the United States of America
The learned Wolfowitz and Perle, it seems, Made Chalabi the hero of their dreams. Yes, all the Sissy Hawks were glad to sup On cockamamie tales that he served up.
May 27, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Coalition Authority Explains Democracy to the Iraqi People The Coalition Authority Explains Democracy to the Iraqi People
We'll give you back the country soon. Your leaders at the end of June Will be there democratically. We'll let you know soon who they'll be.
May 20, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin