Calvin Trillin

Verse Columnist

Calvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”

George W. Bush Speaks Out on Gay Marriage George W. Bush Speaks Out on Gay Marriage

He backs an amendment defining the vow Of marriage as being a guy and his frau, Lest civilization sink into a slough-- Which he says could happen. It isn't clear how.

Mar 4, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Farewell, Howard Dean Farewell, Howard Dean

A vote of thanks is due to Dr. Dean, A comet on the presidential scene. Once sure to win, he lost it all instead. He made mistakes, but still it should be said

Feb 26, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

New (Sort of) Issue New (Sort of) Issue

Bush trotted out his whoppers with tranquillity, Because the press responded with docility. His goal was war. In order to fulfill it, he

Feb 19, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Saddam as a Gathering Threat Saddam as a Gathering Threat

So the weapons weren't there--so what, Bush says, Saddam was a "gathering threat." We were certainly right to start a war. This threat simply had to be met.

Feb 12, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Explaining in His State of the Union Address… Explaining in His State of the Union Address…

...Why the United States Invaded and Occupied Another Country Without Provocation, George W. Bush Offers History His Version of 'Remember the Maine!'

Feb 5, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless

They'd said that David Kay would list The weapons that the UN missed. Now David Kay tells Bush and Blair The weapons simply were not there.

Jan 29, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration

It now appears that they saw 9/11 As, even though not quite ordained in heaven To punish godless sins allowed in bed (As Falwell and Pat Robertson had said),

Jan 22, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’ Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’

It's easy to forget, but still true That creepy guys have ego trips too.

Jan 15, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On Winning the War and Losing the Alerts On Winning the War and Losing the Alerts

We're fighting terror in Iraq, Bush says, So we won't have to fight these guys right here. Then why the orange alerts and canceled flights

Jan 8, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Reaction in the Justice Department to Federal Appeals Court Ruling ‘War on Terrorism’ Detention Policies Unconstitutional Reaction in the Justice Department to Federal Appeals Court Ruling ‘War on Terrorism’ Detention Policies Unconstitutional

A right to counsel and a right to trial? John Ashcroft wonders: How do you suppose We'll save our freedoms and our way of life If we start granting everybody those?

Dec 24, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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