Calvin Trillin

Verse Columnist

Calvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”

The President’s Response To the Report Stating That No Weapons of Mass Destruction Have Been Found in Iraq The President’s Response To the Report Stating That No Weapons of Mass Destruction Have Been Found in Iraq

The President now says that Kay's report-- Which plainly states that weapons of the sort

Oct 9, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Reflections on Geopolitics Reflections on Geopolitics

It seemed like such a good idea. Oh, when did it begin to sour, And start to be no fun to be The last remaining superpower?

Oct 2, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Word to George Bush On the Occasion of His Mentioning That Iraq Was Not Responsible for the Attacks on 9/11 A Word to George Bush On the Occasion of His Mentioning That Iraq Was Not Responsible for the Attacks on 9/11

You tell us, with a casual by-the-way, Iraq was not behind that awful day, As if we'd never heard your staff and you Implying just the opposite was true.

Sep 25, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Arnie Juggernaut Encounters a Committed Feminist The Arnie Juggernaut Encounters a Committed Feminist

It may not do much good to beg her To cast her vote for Schwarzenegger: His flicks, the tales make pollsters rate her A hater of the Terminator.

Sep 18, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

To Old Europe From the Last Remaining Superpower: A Polite Request for Help in Iraq To Old Europe From the Last Remaining Superpower: A Polite Request for Help in Iraq

Well, yes, we may have used the word "appease." We may have called you weenies who munch cheese. But now we're asking nicely for your aid--

Sep 11, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Short Conversation With a Sissy-Hawk on the Possibility of a Quagmire A Short Conversation With a Sissy-Hawk on the Possibility of a Quagmire

"The nerve! Not so! That word still rankles." "You're sinking. I can't see your ankles." "The thugs are here; we now just squeeze."

Sep 4, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Just Wait Just Wait

The White House said, although it wasn't true, Iraq must be invaded, PDQ, Since terrorists, who'd caught us unaware, Were with Iraq, and always gathered there.

Aug 28, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Sleep Tight: A Lullaby Sung Each Night to Osama bin Laden Sleep Tight: A Lullaby Sung Each Night to Osama bin Laden

Sleep tight. There's no one making much ado. So sleep this night, Big O--in peace, sleep through it. The folks you bombed now never mention you.

Aug 14, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

‘Sixteen Little Words’ ‘Sixteen Little Words’

(From the new musical by George Bush & Karl Rove, The Buck Stops There.)

Jul 31, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Truth Emerges, Sort Of The Truth Emerges, Sort Of

Aha! So Tenet is the guy Responsible for Bush's lie About the Niger A-bomb deal That from the start was quite unreal. The Niger lie's off Tenet's chest.

Jul 17, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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