The Beat The Beat
AGAINST FORGETTING George W. Bush's inauguration went less smoothly than the GOP would have liked, as thousands of activists filled the streets of Washington to protest Bush's disp...
Jan 26, 2001 / Column / John Nichols
Adieu (Sort of) to Bill Clinton Adieu (Sort of) to Bill Clinton
We'd say goodbye to Clinton, Bill, Who always was a rascal, still Accomplished much, before he tripped (He couldn't keep his trousers zipped) And after, too. His gifts were g...
Jan 26, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Hello Larry, Thanks! John Hello Larry, Thanks! John
After a bruising fight fopr the presidency, George W. Bush is stocking his cabinet with figures from the far right, none more so than John Ashcroft.
Jan 18, 2001 / Column / Katha Pollitt
Deep in the Heart of Texas Deep in the Heart of Texas
George W. Bush's and Dick Cheney's 'hearts' are in the right place.
Jan 18, 2001 / Column / Christopher Hitchens
The Only King We Have Is Jesus The Only King We Have Is Jesus
(A newly unearthed gospel song credited to John Ashcroft) As I told the Bob Jones students, Seated white and black apart, This nation is unique, not like the rest. As I faced those godly youngsters, I told them from the heart Just why this land will always be the best: The only king we have is Jesus. And I feel blessed to bring that news. The only king we have is Jesus. I can't explain why we've got Jews. So because our king is Jesus, I'm often heard to say, Our kids should pray to Him each day in class. If some kids just stay silent, That's perfectly OK. But they'll all be given Jesus tests to pass. The only king we have is Jesus. That's the truth we all perceive. The only king we have is Jesus So Hindus may just have to leave. Now Jesus hates abortion, 'Cause Jesus loves all life. They call it choice; it's murder all the same. The killers must be punished-- The doctor, man and wife. We'll execute them all in Jesus' name. The only king we have is Jesus. It's Jesus who can keep us pure. The only king we have is Jesus. And He's Republican for sure. The homosexual lifestyle Could make our Jesus weep. He loathed their jokes about which cheek to turn. Yes, Jesus came to teach us With whom we're supposed to sleep. Ignore that and you'll go to Hell to burn. (Final chorus sung in tongues:) Tron smleck gha dreednus hoke b'loofnok Frak fag narst fag madoondah greeb. Tron smleck gha dreednus hoke b'loofnok Dar popish, flarge dyur darky, hebe.
Jan 18, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Thirteen Days of Our Lives Thirteen Days of Our Lives
In the aftermath of the Iran/contra crisis, one of the networks decided to make a docudrama about the life of Ollie North, loosely based on a biography by Ben Bradle Jr. Its prob...
Jan 11, 2001 / Books & the Arts / Eric Alterman
Different Players, Same Game Different Players, Same Game
But hold! Isn't it the demand of enlightened people that all within these borders have a right to work without being hassled by the INS or kindred state agency? You can argue whe...
Jan 11, 2001 / Column / Alexander Cockburn
On Passing Up Marc Racicot for Attorney General in Favor of John Ashcroft On Passing Up Marc Racicot for Attorney General in Favor of John Ashcroft
This Racicot seemed like Bush's sort of guy: Pro-life, he thought that killers ought to fry. Though right-wing to the core in many ways, He was, the Christian right said, soft...
Jan 11, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Right Stuff The Right Stuff
It was one of those odd little paragraphs that leap out at you, so filled with unexpected images it was. "What would Al Sharpton do if Bush calls him?" inquired Peter Noel in a r...
Jan 11, 2001 / Column / Patricia J. Williams
Happy New Year Happy New Year
A cold snowy start to the new year, the first day of the new millennium. Not the fun one with champagne at the Pyramids and the all-night, round-the-globe pseudoprofundities and ...
Jan 5, 2001 / Column / Katha Pollitt