Deadline Poet

Mike Pompeo

Mike Pompeo Implies That a Reporter Who Pressed Him Can’t Locate Ukraine on the Map Mike Pompeo Implies That a Reporter Who Pressed Him Can’t Locate Ukraine on the Map

Mike’s insulting, of course, and quite childish at that. But this might not be labeled a loss If you think of the blunders abroad we’d avoid By imposing such tests on his boss.

Feb 4, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Ribbon Cutting Ceremony

Prince Harry’s Employment Prospects in Canada (Worst-Case Scenario) Prince Harry’s Employment Prospects in Canada (Worst-Case Scenario)

The prince has trouble finding work. Although without a pause he’s hunted, He hasn’t seen an ad that says, “Experienced ribbon cutter wanted.”…

Jan 28, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump’s Threats to the Iranians

Trump’s Threats to the Iranians Trump’s Threats to the Iranians

He said we would target their cultural sites. The next day, he had much less surety. Still, thinking of what might be culture to him, They’re beefing up golf course security.

Jan 21, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump Reveals His Real Reason for Having Suleimani Killed

Trump Reveals His Real Reason for Having Suleimani Killed Trump Reveals His Real Reason for Having Suleimani Killed

“Trump, former aides said, has burned with a desire to erase Obama’s foreign policy legacy and prove himself a superior Commander-in-Chief.” —The Washington Post I couldn’t abide o…

Jan 14, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Low Point?

The Low Point? The Low Point?

President Trump on Thursday found time to insult 16-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg after she was named Time’s Person of the Year, an honor he has coveted for year…

Dec 24, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Democratic Presidential Field

The Democratic Presidential Field The Democratic Presidential Field

The leading candidates present a plight: They’re mostly old, and they’re completely white. They need, to keep the plight from getting starker, To add someone not old and somewhat…

Dec 17, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Where Billionaires Stand on the Presidency

Where Billionaires Stand on the Presidency Where Billionaires Stand on the Presidency

First Schultz thought he might, then Steyer jumped in. Now Bloomberg’s announced. (Though his chances are thin, He hopes with his dough he won’t need early states.) No word yet fro…

Dec 3, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Lindsey Graham

Lindsey Graham, Legal Scholar Lindsey Graham, Legal Scholar

“It’s impossible to bring this case forward, in my view, fairly without us knowing who the whistle-blower is and having a chance to cross-examine them.”—Senator Lindsey Graham Th…

Nov 19, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Transformation of William Barr

The Transformation of William Barr The Transformation of William Barr

His past, they said, was proof that he Would be a pretty straight AG. But, going down a different road, he Became Trump’s most corrupted toady. The words that he forgot are these:…

Nov 12, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Why Trump Released a Transcript That Revealed Him Committing a Crime

Why Trump Released a Transcript That Revealed Him Committing a Crime Why Trump Released a Transcript That Revealed Him Committing a Crime

The call, he said, was proved proper. He’s called it “perfect” all along. That’s just more proof, if more were needed: He can’t distinguish right from wrong.

Oct 29, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

x