Deadline Poet

Laura Ingraham Bully

Laura Ingraham Picks On Parkland High School Student Laura Ingraham Picks On Parkland High School Student

Perhaps she’s now embraced the cause Of feminism fully— Confirming you don’t have to be A male to be a bully.

Apr 5, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump Fox News Hands

Getting a Job at the White House Getting a Job at the White House

No need to have held any high-level posts Or do brilliant thinking that’s out of the box. No need to be held in the highest repute. You only need comment quite often on Fox.

Mar 29, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Robert Mueller sworn in

Trump Attacks the Russia Investigation in Twitter Storm Trump Attacks the Russia Investigation in Twitter Storm

Trump’s showing willingness to litter The Internet with trash on Twitter About the probe. Does this show fear That Robert Mueller’s drawing near? This sort of ranting may provide M…

Mar 22, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Gary Cohn

Gary Cohn, Populist Gary Cohn, Populist

His goal was to make an adjustment in taxes That feathered the nest of the Goldmans and Sachses. His mission accomplished, his White House tour ends With many more millions for him…

Mar 15, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Jared Kushner, White House Real-Estate Developer

Jared Kushner, White House Real-Estate Developer Jared Kushner, White House Real-Estate Developer

Young Jared Kushner thought that he could mix His job with getting cash for 666. (That debt-stuffed building on the River Styx Was not among his most inspired picks.) It looks as i…

Mar 8, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Putin Trump billboard

Russian Meddling Russian Meddling

Their cyber-warfare’s in the spotlight’s glare. The proof is there. Our government’s aware They mean to tear apart the trust we share That votes we cast are counted, fair and squar…

Feb 22, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Projection Donald Trump Harrased 20 Women

Trump on Domestic Violence Trump on Domestic Violence

No empathy? That’s hardly fair to say About this early-morning tweeter. Though, true, he feels no beaten woman’s pain, He sympathizes with the beater.

Feb 15, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Devin Nunes

Trump Interprets the Nunes Memo as Total Vindication Trump Interprets the Nunes Memo as Total Vindication

It has proven this whole Russia probe is a hoax. Yes, it shows that I’m totally innocent, folks. I’m delighted it clears me, as I have been hoping, Of the falsehoods that I, in the…

Feb 8, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump Oval Office Hands Raised

The Dawn of an Affair With Stormy Daniels The Dawn of an Affair With Stormy Daniels

Though rusty at consensual sex, He thought it might be worth a try If he could think of how to start— Which part of her to grab her by.

Feb 1, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Rhino Czech Zoo

Trump Aces Animal-ID Question on Cognitive Test Trump Aces Animal-ID Question on Cognitive Test

A childish narcissist and dumb? The White House says: Preposterous! The test proves that he’d never call A camel a rhinoceros.

Jan 25, 2018 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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