Deadline Poet

The ‘New York Times’ Editorial Board Calls for the Legalization of Marijuana The ‘New York Times’ Editorial Board Calls for the Legalization of Marijuana

The vision of these editors We always had was wrong. They’re not some guys with pipes and tweeds. They’re more like Cheech and Chong.

Jul 30, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Religious Misunderstanding Religious Misunderstanding

Radical Buddhists rampage against Muslims in Myanmar.                                                                 —News reports. Because we thought Buddhists were such peaceful guys, The riots in Burma were quite a surprise. A bloodthirsty Buddhist! That has us perplexed. We find ourselves wondering what could come next: Will violence flow from some Quaker disquiet? Should we be expecting a Mennonite riot? Are we going to see, bounding over the heath, An Amish jihadist who’s armed to the teeth?

Jul 16, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

William Kristol’s Credentials as an Iraq Expert William Kristol’s Credentials as an Iraq Expert

Bill Kristol predicted a war of two months. It’s lasted, we know, somewhat longer. So, even including his chicken-hawk pals, Has anyone ever been wronger?

Jul 2, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Easy Fix Easy Fix

“Texas GOP supports ‘reparative therapy.’”                                                          —CNN
 Gay marriage ? They’ll stop it, at least in one state.
 But how? It’s quite simple: turn everyone straight.  

Jun 18, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The VA Scandal The VA Scandal

The verdict’s in on E. Shinseki. Because the VA’s now a wreck, he Must be replaced at last. So let’s Let someone else neglect the vets.

Jun 4, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

No Surprise No Surprise

Karl Rove suggests that Hillary Clinton suffered brain damage.                                                                         —News reports What’s long been true has gotten even truer: When Karl Rove speaks, he does so from the sewer.  

May 21, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

New GOP Icon? New GOP Icon?

The most Republican-leaning company in the country, based on political donations, [is] the company that makes Wonder Bread. —The New York Times So, given what the demographics show, That elephant will simply have to go. To represent the GOP precisely A slice of white bread ought to do quite nicely.

May 14, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Condoleezza Rice Withdraws as Rutgers Commencement Speaker in Face of Protest Over Her Promotion of the War in Iraq Condoleezza Rice Withdraws as Rutgers Commencement Speaker in Face of Protest Over Her Promotion of the War in Iraq

“We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.” —Condoleezza Rice, in 2003, on why we had to invade Iraq That quote stood out—the truly catchy one Within the bunkum that the White House spun. It’s made her someone many want to shun. Her smoking gun is now her smoking gun.

May 7, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Worshipper in Georgia Prepares for Church A Worshipper in Georgia Prepares for Church

I’m almost dressed in Sunday best. I’ve got my Bible. But I’m stressed: It’s getting late. It’s nine o’clock. Has anybody seen my Glock?

Apr 30, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Campaign Chant of Red-State Democrats Campaign Chant of Red-State Democrats

Delay the pipeline? I’m opposed. Support Obamacare? Not I. Though, yes, he is the president, I hardly even know the guy.

Apr 23, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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