A Worshipper in Georgia Prepares for Church A Worshipper in Georgia Prepares for Church
I’m almost dressed in Sunday best. I’ve got my Bible. But I’m stressed: It’s getting late. It’s nine o’clock. Has anybody seen my Glock?
Apr 30, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Campaign Chant of Red-State Democrats Campaign Chant of Red-State Democrats
Delay the pipeline? I’m opposed. Support Obamacare? Not I. Though, yes, he is the president, I hardly even know the guy.
Apr 23, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Damaging Compassion Damaging Compassion
Jeb Bush’s sympathy for undocumented immigrants is seen as an obstacle in winning the Republican presidential nomination —News reports Unless, some say, Jeb wants to stay In Florida, with the gators, He’s going to have to change his tune, Or else he’ll lose the haters.
Apr 16, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
I Dream of Sheldon With the Bright Orange Hair I Dream of Sheldon With the Bright Orange Hair
(Sung by Republican presidential candidates to the tune of “I Dream of Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair.”) I dream of Sheldon with the bright orange hair. He need but beckon, and I’m quickly there. The views of Sheldon are OK by me. Always I agree, whatever they might be. Many are the good things about him. I love each. Mostly, though, I love the way he does free speech. I dream of Sheldon with the bright orange hair. He need but beckon, and I’m quickly there.
Apr 8, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Case Closed Case Closed
Inquiry Is Said to Clear Christie, but That’s His Lawyers’ Verdict. —New York Times headline His lawyers did a thorough job. The governor has been absolved. They’d interviewed all Christie aides, Except, of course, the ones involved.
Mar 26, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Popular Referendum in Crimea A Popular Referendum in Crimea
The referendum will offer two choices, neither one of them “no.” —The New York Times The ballot was designed to show That they should change the status quo. It listed two ways they might go, But didn’t have a box for “no.” The vote turned Putin all aglow: Plain folks had dealt Ukraine a blow— In democratic vote, although They didn’t have a box for “no.”
Mar 19, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Crisis in Ukraine Crisis in Ukraine
Republicans say Putin is the guy Exuding strength. To rattle his aplomb, Obama should show strength, though they don’t say Precisely who it is he’s meant to bomb.
Mar 12, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Crimea Crimea
The Russians had the thought the Olympics were done. They toasted a splendid occasion. Then Putin remembered another event: The Giant Cross-Country Invasion.
Mar 5, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Legacy of LBJ The Legacy of LBJ
Some say that the Vietnam War has obscured Johnson's extraordinary domestic accomplishments. —News reports Well, yes, there was that awful war, That he pushed hell for leather. But now, they say, we miss his skill In knocking heads together.
Feb 19, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Mr. Hollande’s Opus Mr. Hollande’s Opus
Hollande, whose libido surprises, Moves on, and a question arises: Can anyone tell me, by chance, Just who’s the first lady of France?
Feb 12, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin