Payback Payback
High school “not even an acquaintance” David Wildstein says Christie knew of lane closings. —News reports Chris Christie is learning the perils that face A person ignoring these words: Since nobody knows just what life holds in store, A wise jock offends not the nerds.
Feb 5, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Friendly Advice Friendly Advice
“No more playing the race card.” —Sarah Palin’s Twitter advice to Barack Obama One fact that the man can't evade: The race card should never be played. If he's to start making the grade, He'll have to stop being that shade.
Jan 28, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Giuliani Emerges as Christie’s Main Surrogate Giuliani Emerges as Christie’s Main Surrogate
The surrogate’s chosen. The mystery’s this: Why Rudy, a man more vindictive than Chris? It may be a plan that Chris understands fully: He’s showing the world that he’s not the worst bully. The mayor’s acts of vengeance would rate a novella. Giuliani makes Christie resemble Mandela.
Jan 22, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Fort Lee Jam Fort Lee Jam
Chris Christie insists he knew nothing at all Re jams at the bridge lanes. Well, maybe. But, now, those commuters are smiling. They say, “So who’s in a bigger jam, baby?”
Jan 14, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Settlement Settlement
JPMorgan Nears Deal in Case Tied to Madoff —The New York Times They’ve got endless money. If that’s all it takes, They must be relieved at this point: They’ve spent many billions in settlements now, But nary a day in the joint.
Jan 8, 2014 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Hard Times Hard Times
the 2013 compensation of disney ceo robert iger was reduced to $34 million. —News reports The forty million made before Has been reduced to thirty-four. At home, Bob now knows what’s in store: Economies he must explore To try to keep wolves from the door. He hears remarks he can’t ignore: They whisper, those who make much more, “Poor Iger makes but thirty-four.”
Dec 30, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Rand Paul Says Extending Unemployment Benefits Would Be a Disservice to Those Receiving Them Rand Paul Says Extending Unemployment Benefits Would Be a Disservice to Those Receiving Them
You don’t know how you’ll ever feed the kids Without the benefits? You’re getting nervous? Well, worry not. You heard what Rand Paul said: A cutoff’s really doing you a service.
Dec 18, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Gloomy Numbers for Holiday Shopping’s Big Weekend—‘New York Times’ Headline Gloomy Numbers for Holiday Shopping’s Big Weekend—‘New York Times’ Headline
Yes, Christmas shopping’s start was weak. And so, as to the malls you start out, Remember that your country calls: Your duty is to shop your heart out.
Dec 4, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Double-Entry Bookkeeping Double-Entry Bookkeeping
u.s. retailers decline to aid factory victims in bangladesh —Headline in The New York Times Black Friday comes but once a year, And bargains mean that sales are strong. Refusing help to these folks is A bargain lasting all year long.
Nov 26, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Cheney Sisters in Public Feud Over Marriage —‘New York Times’ Headline Cheney Sisters in Public Feud Over Marriage —‘New York Times’ Headline
Yes, Liz and Mary now are fighting. Thanksgiving there should be exciting. On Turkey Day, we may get word On who was first to flip the bird.
Nov 20, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin