Deadline Poet

A Spouse at Goldman Sachs A Spouse at Goldman Sachs

It’s tyranny, says Cruz. He’s fought Obamacare with great endurance. We must repeal—so says this man Who’s covered by his wife’s insurance.

Oct 30, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

JPMorgan Cops a $13 Billion Plea JPMorgan Cops a $13 Billion Plea

They touted securities they knew were trash. The government’s case plainly shows They’re willing to profit from bucket-shop scams, Although they wear much nicer clothes.

Oct 23, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Why Tea Partiers Think They’re Winning Why Tea Partiers Think They’re Winning

The columnists they read all share their views. Talk-radio is where they get their news. They spurn the facts objective pollsters gather. They’re suffering, alas, from Bubble Blather.

Oct 16, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Explaining Ted Cruz’s Behavior Explaining Ted Cruz’s Behavior

Does he have a plan that the others can’t see? Is this man as smart as the devil? Or is he, to put it in carpenter’s terms, A guy who’s a bubble off level?

Oct 9, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Iran Comes to the Table Iran Comes to the Table

So how about the folks who wrote That sanctions never work, just force? That's very simple: now they write, “The sanctions did their job, of course.”

Oct 2, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Everything I Need to Know About the Legislative Process I Learned at a Tea Party Rally Everything I Need to Know About the Legislative Process I Learned at a Tea Party Rally

If we can’t win the game, If we can’t have our way, We’ll take the bat and ball. Then no one gets to play.

Sep 25, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Exit Weiner: A Confession Exit Weiner: A Confession

Though no one was at times much keener Than me to joke about A. Weiner, Though his transgressions, being serial, Provided us with rich material, I have to say that we were lucky That he got skunked. Those posts were yucky. And toward the end the jokes grew grim. I’m glad to see the back of him.

Sep 18, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Hispanic Heritage Month: September 15–October 15 Hispanic Heritage Month: September 15–October 15

The members of Congress are ready to cheer Latinos and what they’ve accomplished right here. There’s praise for Latinos in all of this chatter. But making them legal? A different matter.

Sep 11, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Another Constructive Tea Party Agenda Another Constructive Tea Party Agenda

“Some Republicans Nurture Dreams of Impeaching Obama”                                               —New York Times headline   The limits of our patience have been reached: Obama simply has to be impeached. High crimes and misdemeanors? Yes, this traitor Must have them. We’ll produce a long list later. For now, we say he has to get the sack. You may have noticed, by the way—he’s black.

Aug 28, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Winter Olympics in Putin’s Russia

The Winter Olympics in Putin’s Russia The Winter Olympics in Putin’s Russia

Gay rights activists hold a banner reading "Homophobia - the religion of bullies" during their action in protest of homophobia, on Red Square in Moscow, Russia, on Sunday, July 14, 2013. (AP Photo/Evgeny Feldman) “Putin signs anti-gay legislation into law.” —news reports It’s possible a skier’d have to pray, As he zoomed down the steepest slope one day, That he did not, by accident, display A manner that those eager to obey The laws that under Putin now hold sway Might video as evidence, then say This shows with certainty that he is gay, Illegally, and must be sent away To some gay gulag, where he will decay In dungeons like the cages of Bombay. And meanwhile Putin leads the cheers: “Let’s hear it! Let’s celebrate that grand Olympic spirit!”

Aug 14, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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