ADHD Diagnoses Rise Sharply ADHD Diagnoses Rise Sharply
So hyperactivity’s now on the rise, Though overprescribing is also suspected. Could this be a hyperactivity plague? At least we know Congress has not been affected.
Apr 3, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Republican Brawl Republican Brawl
First Palin said that Rove had spent a lot Of other people’s money, and had got For all of that a largely losing slate— Suggesting Rove’s gone past his sell-by date. So Rove, in search of subtle ways to hit her, Implied that she’d turned out to be a quitter. Then John McCain, with careful choice of words, Said Rand and Cruz behaved like “wacko birds.” O’Reilly said that Bachmann’s speech was trite. We can’t choose sides, since everyone is right.
Mar 27, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
One Issue That Seems to Be Getting Bipartisan Support in the Senate One Issue That Seems to Be Getting Bipartisan Support in the Senate
When Cruz begins a crude bombard, He speaks with reckless disregard. So even those who share his views Tend not to want to shmooze with Cruz.
Mar 20, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Kim Jong-un, Dictator of North Korea and BFF of Dennis Rodman, Threatens to Use Nuclear Weapons Against the United States Kim Jong-un, Dictator of North Korea and BFF of Dennis Rodman, Threatens to Use Nuclear Weapons Against the United States
Now Kim, who’s the strangest of big bomb possessors, Says he’d use his nukes against Yankee aggressors. Should we build some shelters? No, Kim is no menace, Since he knows a nuke strike could take out his Dennis.
Mar 13, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Personal Application of Sequestration A Personal Application of Sequestration
The bulge in your gut’s an embarrassment, but You just can’t decide on which diet to use— The one with all carbs or the no-fats-at-all. You set a date certain by which you must choose. The date has arrived and you’ve not made a start. The fat’s hanging over. Your trousers won’t fit. You do what you promised you’d do in this case: You take out a knife and you slice off a bit.
Mar 6, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Sip Heard Round the World The Sip Heard Round the World
He sought to trash the Democrats. He’d rough them up for sure, but first he Just had to have a bit to drink. Poor Rubio was dry and thirsty. Though pundits say his future’s bright, Whatever life to him may bring, His sobriquet will always be The senator from Poland Spring.
Feb 20, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Hacker Unearths Paintings by George W. Bush Hacker Unearths Paintings by George W. Bush
To new artist George Bush (the junior), We welcome you. Greetings. Salaam. We’re eager to see your depiction Of nukes stashed away by Saddam.
Feb 13, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Task Ahead The Task Ahead
“The biggest donors in the Republican Party are financing a new group to recruit seasoned candidates and protect Senate incumbents from challenges by far-right conservatives and Tea Party enthusiasts.” —The New York Times They mean to weed the wackos out, To stanch electoral bleeding. From what we’ve seen, it’s going to take Some mighty powerful weeding.
Feb 6, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Sarah Palin Will No Longer Be a Paid Commentator on Fox News Sarah Palin Will No Longer Be a Paid Commentator on Fox News
The word that Palin’s off the Fox News teat Will strike so many folks as bittersweet. For many, Palin’s just the sort of gal you Would hire for her entertainment value. Though Palin, Ailes may think, no longer fits, he Might never find a substitute as ditsy.
Jan 30, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Message From Americans to France A Message From Americans to France
“As French troops intervene in Mali, the French take pride in their military capacity and in their independence of action.” —The New York Times We’re pleased to hear you like to intervene. We praise both your commitment and your style. Ourselves, we’ve wearied of this sort of thing. Perhaps you could take over for a while.
Jan 23, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin