Deadline Poet

On the Secret ‘Rendition’ of Terror Suspects to Countries Known to Use Torture On the Secret ‘Rendition’ of Terror Suspects to Countries Known to Use Torture

As Jesus said to render unto Caesar A portion of thy grain or of thy stock, Our policy's to render unto Caesar In hopes that he'll apply electric shock.

Mar 10, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Risk of Having a Notoriously Foul-Mouthed Comedian Host the Oscars On the Risk of Having a Notoriously Foul-Mouthed Comedian Host the Oscars

Though having Rock, some said, was plain insane, he Eschewed the sort of language used by Cheney.

Mar 3, 2005 / Books & the Arts / Calvin Trillin

Ambassador John Negroponte’s Intelligence on the Subject of Torture and Murder Squads Ambassador John Negroponte’s Intelligence on the Subject of Torture and Murder Squads

The man who's just been put in charge Of knowing all will now assure us That he knew nothing--nada, zip-- When he was stationed in Honduras.

Feb 24, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Condoleezza Rice Condoleezza Rice

Condoleezza Rice, who is cold as ice, is precise with her advice. Yes, she is quite precise, and, yes, she's cold as ice.

Feb 17, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Tabloid Reader Responds to Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Announcement That He’s Appealing the Decision Making Gay Marriage Legal in New York A Tabloid Reader Responds to Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Announcement That He’s Appealing the Decision Making Gay Marriage Legal in New York

Though Mike must do what he thinks right, A lot of us think it's a pity, Since we were hoping SpongeBob might Decide to marry in the city.

Feb 10, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Democracy Flowers in the Middle East Democracy Flowers in the Middle East

So now this election is done. What will follow it--maybe a Reversal so women can drive Cars in Saudi Arabia?

Feb 3, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

We Could Have Danced All Night We Could Have Danced All Night

(The Bushes Do "My Fair Lady" at the Inaugural Balls)

Jan 27, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Confirmation of Condoleezza (‘Mushroom Cloud’) Rice as Secretary of State On the Confirmation of Condoleezza (‘Mushroom Cloud’) Rice as Secretary of State

The mushroom-shaped cloud Condi spun As being the next smoking gun Was hooey invented to show Attacking Iraq's apropos.

Jan 20, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Hunky Dory in Iraq Hunky Dory in Iraq

(A Song Sung in the Shower Every Morning by George W. Bush)

Jan 13, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Assigning Responsibility Assigning Responsibility

Defending Rumsfeld, Bush says Rummy's great, That as a planner he has been first rate-- Respected in the White House and the ranks.

Jan 6, 2005 / Books & the Arts / Calvin Trillin

x