Deadline Poet

Everything George Bush Needs to Know He Learned on the Playground Everything George Bush Needs to Know He Learned on the Playground

Let's say that from the east while you look south An icy snowball hits you in the mouth. You see the kid who did it run, the wretch,

Apr 10, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Resignation of Richard Perle, Captain of The Sissy Hawk Brigade, On the Resignation of Richard Perle, Captain of The Sissy Hawk Brigade,

And so for Richard Perle was writ The second graf of his obit: This soaring bird of hawkish myth Was grounded when discovered with His talon in the cookie jar

Apr 3, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On Richard Perle, Lobbyist, Businessman And, Perhaps Not Coincidentally, Chairman of the Defense Policy Board On Richard Perle, Lobbyist, Businessman And, Perhaps Not Coincidentally, Chairman of the Defense Policy Board

The plans to start this war were laid Within the Sissy Hawk Brigade-- A band of Vietnam evaders All puffed up now as tough crusaders.

Mar 27, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Loyal Opposition The Loyal Opposition

The Senate Democrats sat mum, Like doves afraid to coo. So history will soon record This war as their war too.

Mar 20, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Cheer for the New Nation of the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro A Cheer for the New Nation of the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro

Whose name stands out like banners made of Day-Glo? The State Union of Serbia and Montenegro! What sounds as if it's jerry-built by Lego?

Mar 13, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Kurds Are in the Way Again The Kurds Are in the Way Again

The Kurds are in the way again, And so, to our dismay again, If we begin a fray again, As it appears we may again, It seems we must betray again

Mar 5, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

An Analysis of the Turkish-American Alliance, Its Diplomatic Significance and Its Role in Establishing Democracy in the Middle East An Analysis of the Turkish-American Alliance, Its Diplomatic Significance and Its Role in Establishing Democracy in the Middle East

Get allies? That's not hard to do. We'll simply go and buy a few.

Feb 27, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Backlash Against the Perfidious French On the Backlash Against the Perfidious French

They're relegated to the side. This role--which they cannot abide, Which torments Frenchmen day and night-- Can make them do things out of spite.

Feb 19, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

We Speak Not of Osama We Speak Not of Osama

NOTE: Because of an editorial error, last week's poem was incorrectly printed. This is a corrected version. Our apologies to Calvin Trillin (and to Cole Porter). --The Editors

Feb 13, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

We Speak Not of Osama We Speak Not of Osama

(With apologies to Cole Porter, the master, who wrote "My Heart Belongs to Daddy")

Feb 6, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin

x