Deadline Poet

Joie de Vivre in the Land of Color-Coded Terrorism Alerts Joie de Vivre in the Land of Color-Coded Terrorism Alerts

I got up Monday feeling mellow: Expected red, but it was yellow.

May 30, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Dick Cheney’s Primer on the Constitution Dick Cheney’s Primer on the Constitution

So what's it called if during war you criticize the President for any reason? Treason. And how long does this war go on (and this is where this theory's really pretty clever)? ...

May 23, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Solution at Last A Solution at Last

Likud says it does not anticipate That Palestinians will have a state. So they, in turn, are meant to stop this shrying, And try to make their peace with occupying.

May 16, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Short History of the French Presidential Election A Short History of the French Presidential Election

In Paris it began to look Like Jacques Chirac was just a crook, But voters voted for him when He ran against Le Pen again. Though graft is certainly a curse, They figured th...

May 9, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Saudis and Their Oil Rigs The Saudis and Their Oil Rigs

(Sung to the tune of "The Farmer and the Cowman" from Oklahoma!) The Saudis and their oil rigs are our friends. Oh, the Saudis and their oil rigs are our friends. They...

May 2, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Survey Offering Democrats Two Responses to the Return of Al Gore A Survey Offering Democrats Two Responses to the Return of Al Gore

Al Gore is back:       (1) Alas       (2) Alack

Apr 18, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Elizabeth Dole Elizabeth Dole

Get set again for Liddy Dole. She's back, to let the good times roll. She's entering another race, Her hair and diction all in place. (Her hair is even more precise Than tha...

Apr 11, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Middle East Troubles: A Summary The Middle East Troubles: A Summary

They give each other tit for tat. The next tat may get Arafat.

Apr 4, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Nixon Library Woes Nixon Library Woes

The daughters, Trish and Julie, now aren't speaking. Without more dough, the roof will soon be leaking. It really isn't clear just who's in charge. Most tapes and papers still...

Mar 28, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

2002 Remake of Boys’ Town 2002 Remake of Boys’ Town

He ain't heavy, Father, he's my brother. I can take him by myself from here. Also, after what we've all been reading, We don't like to have you priests too near.

Mar 21, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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