Indispensable Indispensable
(An old Nat "King" Cole song, as sung by Rudy "King" Giuliani) Indispensable, that's what I am. I'm an icon now, like Uncle Sam. I'm the rock this town is built up...
Oct 4, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Concise History of Danny Almonte’s Little League Career A Concise History of Danny Almonte’s Little League Career
It's like finding another Babe Ruth, But he seems a bit long in the tooth.
Sep 6, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Sultan’s Brother Does a Service to Humanity The Sultan’s Brother Does a Service to Humanity
The brother of the Sultan of Brunei Set out to see how much a guy could buy, And fifteen billion's what he finally spent Before the sultan voiced some discontent. The guilt o...
Aug 23, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Kim Jong Il’s Announcement On Kim Jong Il’s Announcement
We said that Kim Jong Il was just the guy For whom we needed Star Wars in the sky. Now Kim Jong Il declares we needn't worry That he might up and bomb us in a hurry: He isn't testing for the missile race; He's got a moratorium in place. Does this, then, mean that we won't have to wield A multibillion-dollar missile shield? Well, no, for other wicked rogues remain. If they go, we'll find others as profane. If all rogues disappear, we won't be glum, We'll hope that if we build it, they will come.
Aug 9, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Leader of the Last Remaining Superpower Asserts Minimal Qualifications The Leader of the Last Remaining Superpower Asserts Minimal Qualifications
To those who say he cannot do it, Who claim his head is filled with suet, He says that he is plenty able To deal with issues on the table. Though he may have no depths to plu...
Jul 27, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Strong Dollar Clouds Prospects For Quick Rebound A Strong Dollar Clouds Prospects For Quick Rebound
--Headline, New York Times The dollar's strong. That must be good. It's doing what a dollar should. Not so. The world cannot afford our...
Jul 12, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A New, Simpler Analysis of the Recent Bush-Putin Summit A New, Simpler Analysis of the Recent Bush-Putin Summit
Bush and Putin talk together, To each other's charms succumb. Bush thinks Putin can be trusted. Putin thinks that Bush is dumb. Bush and Putin end their meeting, Smile...
Jun 28, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Former Fraternity President Deals With the Nuclear Proliferation Issue A Former Fraternity President Deals With the Nuclear Proliferation Issue
Though Bush intends to drop the missile treaty, He's happy that this Putin guy's so neat, he Will prove to be the nicest sort of Roosky. So just relax, and crack yourself a br...
Jun 21, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Post-Jeffords Slippery Slope in the Senate Post-Jeffords Slippery Slope in the Senate
If Georgia's Miller did decide He's really on the other side, The Democrats might then connive To make Strom prove he's still alive.
Jun 14, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Republicans and John McCain The Republicans and John McCain
They thought that Jeffords was their bane, But now they see that John McCain, Who shrugs off efforts to restrain His longtime love of speaking plain, And likes to jerk George...
Jun 7, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin