Deadline Poet

On Late-Term Presidential Travels On Late-Term Presidential Travels

Dec 14, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Shut It Down Shut It Down

(Another Republican sea chantey) They all went down to stop Miami-Dade From making counts the judges had OK'd. Unlikely toughs, with ties and crisp white shirts, They w...

Dec 7, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

I’m Counting My Heart Out for You I’m Counting My Heart Out for You

(Lyrics found on a table inside a state building in Miami-Dade County) I'm counting my heart out for you. The votes I am finding are few. We hear the mob right in the h...

Nov 30, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Vietnam Peace The Vietnam Peace

The President has gone to Vietnam, A smallish country that we used to bomb But now would like to send our products to. And so our corporations take the view That if the count...

Nov 27, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Day in the Life of the Palm Beach County Recount A Day in the Life of the Palm Beach County Recount

While Bush says counting votes by hand's unfair, Gore gains--a bubbe here, a zayde there.

Nov 16, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Rare Good News Rare Good News

The Journal of Nutrition wrote about Some researchers who tested chocolate out. It may help stave off heart attacks, they claim. Red wine, we've known for years, can do the sa...

Nov 10, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Nader Voters: An Explanation Nader Voters: An Explanation

They thought they'd vote the Democratic slate, But somehow felt they needed something more. They finally found a candidate who was More sanctimonious than Albert Gore.

Nov 2, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Whose Side’s Jesus On? Whose Side’s Jesus On?

Gore says he prays when crises loom. He asks just what would Jesus do. And then he does that very thing (If focus groups would do it too). So whose side's Jesus on, fol...

Oct 26, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trick or Treat Trick or Treat

The voters hear on Halloween The country's doorbell ring. There's Bush dressed up as real adult And Gore as human being.

Oct 19, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Events in Serbia On the Events in Serbia

It took them thirteen years to ditch Old Slobodan Milosevic. Now people see a new day dawn, But notice that he's still not gone.

Oct 12, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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