Deadline Poet

Farewell, Gary Bauer Farewell, Gary Bauer

x Farewell, adieu to Gary Bauer. We never thought that you'd be our Next President. Too small. Too sour. The countryside we'd have to scour

Feb 10, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Orrin Hatch Ends Whatever It Was Orrin Hatch Ends Whatever It Was

The Orrin Hatch campaign is done-- Kaput at last, without a doubt. And now, perhaps, could someone please Explain what that was all about?

Feb 3, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Old King Kohl, or A Very Fine Fiddle Had He Old King Kohl, or A Very Fine Fiddle Had He

(With apologies, under the table, to Mother Goose)

Jan 27, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Russians in Chechnya The Russians in Chechnya

It seems so familiar to me: They know one more tank, one more gun'll Allow best and brightest to see The light at the end of the tunnel.

Jan 20, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Ballad of John Rocker, A Slur-Driven Man The Ballad of John Rocker, A Slur-Driven Man

(Sung to the tune of "The Ballad of John Henry")

Jan 13, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Campaign Mystery Campaign Mystery

Conservatives cannot explain Just why reporters boost McCain. It seems an odd way to express The liberal bias of the press.

Jan 6, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Latest Republican Debate On the Latest Republican Debate

I watched these presidential hopefuls join Together for debating in Des Moines, And many times I heard allegiance sworn To Jesus and to babies not quite born.

Dec 15, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Release of John McCain’s Psychological Records On the Release of John McCain’s Psychological Records

Still reason to worry.

Dec 9, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

One Problem of Bradley’s Candidacy Solved One Problem of Bradley’s Candidacy Solved

The last remaining superpower Might get a leader who would tower Above a smallish premier of Japan. The Third World wouldn't be euphoric

Dec 2, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Message of Those Spreading Rumors About John McCain’s ‘Temperament’ The Message of Those Spreading Rumors About John McCain’s ‘Temperament’

Imprisonment and torture are the sort Of things that might just drive a person daft. So just in case that happened to McCain,

Nov 25, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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