Deadline Poet

A Theological Analysis of the South Carolina Primary A Theological Analysis of the South Carolina Primary

In Kennebunk, land of the Bushes, The men of the cloth all wore tweed. And one didn't meet any Christians Like Robertson, Falwell and Reed.

Feb 23, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Farewell, Steve Forbes Farewell, Steve Forbes

We mutter adieu now to Steve, Who finally decided to leave. We thought he might never be done With buying his place in the sun.

Feb 16, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Farewell, Gary Bauer Farewell, Gary Bauer

x Farewell, adieu to Gary Bauer. We never thought that you'd be our Next President. Too small. Too sour. The countryside we'd have to scour

Feb 10, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Orrin Hatch Ends Whatever It Was Orrin Hatch Ends Whatever It Was

The Orrin Hatch campaign is done-- Kaput at last, without a doubt. And now, perhaps, could someone please Explain what that was all about?

Feb 3, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Old King Kohl, or A Very Fine Fiddle Had He Old King Kohl, or A Very Fine Fiddle Had He

(With apologies, under the table, to Mother Goose)

Jan 27, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Russians in Chechnya The Russians in Chechnya

It seems so familiar to me: They know one more tank, one more gun'll Allow best and brightest to see The light at the end of the tunnel.

Jan 20, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Ballad of John Rocker, A Slur-Driven Man The Ballad of John Rocker, A Slur-Driven Man

(Sung to the tune of "The Ballad of John Henry")

Jan 13, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Campaign Mystery Campaign Mystery

Conservatives cannot explain Just why reporters boost McCain. It seems an odd way to express The liberal bias of the press.

Jan 6, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Latest Republican Debate On the Latest Republican Debate

I watched these presidential hopefuls join Together for debating in Des Moines, And many times I heard allegiance sworn To Jesus and to babies not quite born.

Dec 15, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Release of John McCain’s Psychological Records On the Release of John McCain’s Psychological Records

Still reason to worry.

Dec 9, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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