Deadline Poet

George W. Bush’s Education Plan George W. Bush’s Education Plan

A public school whose students don't test well Would lose some funds unless its score improves. If cutting funds won't help the kids advance,

Sep 16, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On the Possibility That Pat Buchanan Will Run as a Third-Party Candidate On the Possibility That Pat Buchanan Will Run as a Third-Party Candidate

Buchanan hints he's leaving. The GOP says, "Stay!" They fear that he'd be draining The wacko vote away.

Sep 9, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Rest of Them Are Clean The Rest of Them Are Clean

Elizabeth Dole won't break the law. McCain has scored no coke. The thought of Hatch with smack or crack Is palpably baroque.

Sep 2, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Word of Sympathy for Candidates Who Did Not Do Well in the Ames Voting A Word of Sympathy for Candidates Who Did Not Do Well in the Ames Voting

It really would stick in the craw To find that you had to withdraw From such a big race For not keeping pace In a poll that was nothing but straw.

Aug 19, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Not for Me Not for Me

I think I'd rather not belong At this point to the Falun Gong. The exercises don't look easy, And doing them might make me queasy

Aug 5, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Remembering the 1993 Healthcare Debate While Listening to the 1999 Healthcare Debate Remembering the 1993 Healthcare Debate While Listening to the 1999 Healthcare Debate

The single-payer system, it was said, Has faults that go beyond the fact it's Red: If any faceless bureaucrat decreed That surgery the doctor says you need

Jul 22, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Wreck of the Primary Campaign The Wreck of the Primary Campaign

(A Republican Sea Chantey)

Jul 8, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell

If Webster Hubbell Is out of trouble, The end for Starr Cannot be far. We hope these guys Live peaceful lives With little fuss--

Jul 1, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Advise and Consent Advise and Consent

So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear. And Helms now says that Dick will get the post. An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.

Jun 24, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates

Completely confident, they know that--fair And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush. But still, where is that famous picture where

Jun 17, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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