Deadline Poet

Advise and Consent Advise and Consent

So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear. And Helms now says that Dick will get the post. An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.

Jun 24, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates

Completely confident, they know that--fair And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush. But still, where is that famous picture where

Jun 17, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Progress in the Kosovo Talks Progress in the Kosovo Talks

Could settlement and peace both come before Young Bush finds a position on the war?

Jun 10, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings

Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom On any stock that ends ".com"-- Except it's hard to tell just which Of them will make you filthy rich.

Jun 3, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Post-Littleton Gun Vote in the Senate Post-Littleton Gun Vote in the Senate

When guns became the issue of the day, Republicans, as is their custom, put Their party right behind the NRA, And shot themselves quite badly in the foot.

May 27, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Welcome Out, Amy Fisher Welcome Out, Amy Fisher

We welcome out Ms. Amy Fisher And all of us sincerely wish her Success in any field she might embrace. We hope that she'll avoid the showy,

May 20, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China

A pity that our missiles went astray-- The kind of act we'd make a tort of. Sincerely, USA would like to say We're really very sorry, sort of.

May 13, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Slobo in Prayer Slobo in Prayer

So Slobodan said prayers with Jesse. But prayed for what? Who knows? I'd guess he Would say, "So stop the bombs!" and then amens. Except when bombs no longer shower

May 6, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Another Candidate Announces Another Candidate Announces

Republicans seem rather sour About the run of Gary Bauer. But Democrats are glad to greet The one opponent Gore might beat.

Apr 29, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Wherefore Al Gore? Wherefore Al Gore?

They're asking now, "Wherefore Al Gore?" They're thinking now, "Should we explore A few alternatives before We find too late we've bet the store

Apr 21, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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